The Art of Knowing When to Walk Away
The fear of surrender can stem from the fear of losing. Popular culture supports a winner-loser mentality that can create false beliefs and misunderstandings about the value of surrender. The practice of surrendering implies humility, cessation of resistance, unburdening, or relief. It can be seen as handing over struggle to the universe or a higher power, renouncing our need to control every aspect of our lives, and opening with curiosity to the possibility of hope in the great mystery and wonder of the unknown.
Experiencing trauma can greatly impact our willingness to surrender. You may experience feelings of anxiety, panic, worry, and fear at the thought of “letting go” in any regard. This can have major implications for your ability to trust yourself and other people. The ongoing experience of having difficulty letting go can be an indicator of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). When these symptoms are left unresolved, they can create long-lasting effects that limit your ability to pursue the life you desire.
Knowing when and how to surrender is a guru’s basic. We’re all required to surrender and release as we balance the attachments and entanglements of our being. A soul’s existence is one eternal revolution composed of smaller and smaller cycles, constantly closing one as we open and flower into the next. When the husk of a plant has been outgrown, it sheds to make space for new growth. We sometimes hold on too long to people, things, and situations we have outgrown or that which impose greater harm upon us to keep instead of recycling.
This lack of letting go can be reflected in weak or nonexistent boundaries. Feelings of anxiety, depression, overthinking, and obsessive behaviors are often indicators that something in your life is ready to be surrendered or released. The need to let go can be pointing toward a job, relationship, belief, or even a habit. Whatever it may be, the inability to release that which no longer serves you can create feelings of shame and insecurity as you hold on far beyond the expiration date.
Grief is the process by which we detach ourselves from a hope, dream, desire, expectation, person or thing that we love and cherish. To let go of anything, truly, we must allow ourselves to enter into the mixed emotions accompanying grief, the portal of liminal space where we’re neither here nor there. This is the time when the caterpillar disintegrates in the chrysalis, waiting with uncertainty about the nature of life as a butterfly. What must die or shed to catalyze your next phase of evolution? Reflect on this question, write it down, and release it safely in a fire.
Do you need help resolving your feelings of anxiety, depression, worry, and doubt related to letting go? Reach out to us for personal, practical solutions that will help you move forward with your best life.
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